Monday, 31 March 2014

Dumbness of Galactic Proportions

So I'd just been watching one of the excellent off-shoots of Battlestar Galactica on a cable channel.  The story was ending as we see our star-ship flying hero zoom off to victory and beyond.
We are still seeing his smiling face with the credits a gnats toenail away, when suddenly a moronically croaky voice smashes into the moment with "Now don't forget there's..." and proceeds to tell me of other programmes I might like to watch. The moment that I have just invested an hour in to see is utterly cremated.  I want to shout at him "Never mind about what's on later, I'm watching this now, yes now!" and then  "Do you know what now means?, It's the current situation unfolding, It's what's going on at this moment, Unlike some better imagined future, it's whats actually happening at this time"

Do their own programmes mean nothing to these people?  Do they consider their output as meaningless worthless trash, trash that can be talked over or covered with pop-up boxes saying "Dr Who next"

Or do they think we're like the people you see out with their mates: head down texting, missing any subtle interactions or spontaneous fun,  missing most of the conversation. What is this important texting about? I'll tell you shall I? These people are texting other mates about future social events, perhaps meeting in a pub, like the one they are in now, maybe the actual pub they are in now, maybe with most of the people they are with right now. What happens when this future event arrives, what will they be doing while their mates laugh and chat around them? I think you know don't you?

Anyway my point is if the announcer could have held off for literally half a second, yes half a second - I would have been allowed to savor the moment.

To understand how I felt, imagine you've just had a lovely dream and you're about to wake up feeling great, when suddenly some shrimp brained mulark  grabs you by the shoulders and shakes you while shouting in your dribbling face "FIRE, FIRE!"

So I say this to you cable TV people: allow us to fully watch our programmes, let us enjoy the moment and savor the experience that you have delivered to us.
Stop rushing in to move us on to the next thing.  Let us drift a while longer in the sea of fantasy, and come back to reality gently, don't tip up the dingy soaking us in salty wetness you gigantic group of ass!


  1. Yeah! And sometimes the credits roll so fast as they rush you onto the next program you have to google any info you may want to know.

  2. Yes thanks for your comments Jymmy. Especially those American fellows and their TV programmes, I mean what's the point in even running the credits - weirdos!

  3. do you know they used to show nothing on tv in the old days cos they didnt have enough programmes
    thered be a big tv break in the middle of the day
    then pick it up again later
    it seems to me this was a better way of doing things
    thinking about it, im surprised cinema hasnt gone down the tv route at the end of a film
    maybe it has, i havent been to the cinema for two and a half years
    i saw moonrise kingdom by wes anderson
    it was ok
    i think youre either someone who goes to the cinema or someone who doesnt
    unless you go to the cinema sometimes but then i guess youd fit the first category
    im enjoying your more prolific blogging

  4. Thanks Tony. It's funny, I was telling a 20 year old at work about the mid-day TV break thing the other day. Well stone me if that isn't a coincidence. I remember the intermission in films years ago. Much more civilized - we could all get some more refreshment or have a pee, or simply reflect on the spectacle so far. Not now though, it's in and out as quick as you like. I'm surprised they even bother to show the end of the film. I expect soon they'll be trimming off the beginning and the end, to get us out quicker. Everyone will leave the cinema with no idea of what the film was about. The cinemas will just bill the films as "Arthouse" and everyone is happy - no one expects to understand Arthouse, and no one will admit to not understanding it. These people sweat genius juice.