Wednesday, 8 January 2014

What's this blog name all about then?

What was that? Oh you want to know what the name of this blog is about.  Of course, I will be happy to explain.

I've always loved superheroes- reading comics and watching the cartoons.  The live-action stuff wasn't so good at first when I was  a kid.  Spiderman was only able to shoot white rope from his wrists and move like a mime artist.  Superman played by George Reeves on TV was middle-aged and already making excuses about why he couldn't do things like turn back time by zooming round the earth, like when he was younger. TV Batman was fun, but barking mad.  Of course the Superman films changed everything. Despite some of the shortcomings of  superhero portrayal that I witnessed,  I still aspired to be like them.  This began by building up my asthma-compromised body with exercise.  I was lucky as the asthma left my body at around my mid teenage years.  Then as I grew older and realised  that I possessed scant social skills, I read books on the subject - body language, positive thinking etc. practicing what I had studied in the field.  I learnt about integrity and tried to weave that into my daily life too.  Nowadays I'm inspired by acts of heroism small and large in the real world.  I still watch a lot of superhero stuff though.  So that's the heroic bit.

Just having a break here.  By the way, if you think I sound like a crap version of Charlie Brooker, then you're wrong because I started talking just before him, so he is actually a good, successful, witty version of ME!  It's so annoying when you see people on TV doing good versions of what you do in everyday life and being well paid instead of doing a rubbish job.  Remember all the funny faces and noises that Vic Reeves used to make on his big night out? Well I was making them when I was a kid, which was quite a while before he was on TV - my mum pointed that out.

Hands of wetness comes from two things:

Number 1. My life-long love of video games.  I've played many a game and I'm sure you have too,  until my sweaty hands can no longer grip the joystick/gamepad/paddle.

Number 2.  is my complete impatience with practical tasks such as drying my hands.  I get very cross after washing my hands when the drying process takes far too long.  What usually happens is my half-assed attempt resulting in puddles of water on my laptop track pad or gamepad.  I'm probably remembering a non-corporeal existence when I didn't have to deal with this tedious, repetitive, time-consuming twaddle!   That is all.


  1. just a couple of things...
    have you even tried the new Dyson hand dryer?
    it's pretty good
    although i'd argue with the 10sec dry-as-a-nun's-phingamegog that they claim.
    anyway they'll prob claim 5secs soon.
    that's the way it has to go with technology.
    pretty soon you'll be pissing into a Dyson rather than a urinal watching your urine evaporate before it's dripped off your phingamegogame
    thanks Dyson
    second, you know Spiderman was masturbating all that time he got caught by aunty whoever in his room unravelling web? well that's what i heard...
    and Superman's Moses
    I'd like to know more about this stuff
    i like reading about your superhero exploits
    i think you're onto something there

    1. Thanks for that Tony – please allow me to retort:

      Dyson hand dryers are OK. I agree that the ten second claim is completely erroneous. Actually I want a 1 second dryer and I think they have the technology to make it. So come on people try harder, we haven't got all day to dry our hands! Sadly I don't have the money/space to install one at home. If I were Superman I would be using heat vision on my hands and anywhere else that's wet. I could use a hair dryer but they would involve getting it out and plugging it in & it probably wont work as well as a Dyson. I like the urinal idea, it could also remove the need to shake after peeing, wouldn't that be great. The up-draft of warm air on the old chap would feel nice too. Perhaps they could also install them into toilet bowls. The rich probably have this already. If there are any rich people reading this, please confirm. I think you are right about Spiderman.

    2. Roald Dahl has just confirmed, via his book Boy, via Wikipedia, via the internet, that there was such a job as a toilet seat warmer!
      It took place at public schools
      Younger boys would sit on cold toilet seats to warm them for the prefects (the Boazers)
      Roald Dahl used to do this before he became a famous writer and wrote about giant peaches, and giant giants, and young girls with superpowers!
      if Roald Dahl had been a Boazer he probably wouldn't have written a word, he would have got Quentin Blake to do it for him

  2. Interesting stuff. The Dyson Airblade, it's great

    1. Thanks Jymmy welcome aboard! I think we all agree that Dyson have certainly improved the situation in public toilets, but they now need to take this to the next level.

    2. I think Tony is very rude and vulgar.

    3. Thanks Disappointed. lol I think Tony has to learn not to use so many bad words. He has some good stories though!

  3. there isn't a bad word in anything i wrote!
    i mean there could be
    there's at least one rude word i deliberately didn't write
    maybe you imagined it
    the whole world looks rude and vulgar to some people
    it does to me
    anyway don't push me
    i have very dangerous fingers

    1. I think we all appreciate your efforts Tony. To stem the tide of profanity threatening to ejaculate from your fingers of danger, must take a superhuman effort. I salute your heroism sir!